small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
