it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
