Sponge bath it is.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
