if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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