Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
