I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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