I'm gonna have a badass scar
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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