I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
