...so i touched it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
