ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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