I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
