I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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