he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
