Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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