Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So much Jack, so little girl.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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