girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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