i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
