just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
