it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
