I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
