You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
