Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
