her vagine was all disorganized.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
