It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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