When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?