Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?

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  (515): Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out? http://tfl.nu/ragd
  Replies (48) Good night (1064) Bad night (2127)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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  (910): I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/zk0y
  Replies (14) Good night (1282) Bad night (4191)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying

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  (917): I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying http://tfl.nu/unbu
  Replies (12) Good night (1089) Bad night (6315)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."

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  (561): I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead." http://tfl.nu/np5o
  Replies (2) Good night (3252) Bad night (1292)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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  (816): Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work http://tfl.nu/ppy0
  Replies (16) Good night (1816) Bad night (3838)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...

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  (612): I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night... http://tfl.nu/eun8
  Replies (6) Good night (2433) Bad night (828)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..

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  (613): I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference.. http://tfl.nu/jwx4
  Replies (7) Good night (2535) Bad night (906)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.

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  (630): I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence. http://tfl.nu/jyg1
  Replies (2) Good night (1384) Bad night (691)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.

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  (305): Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright. http://tfl.nu/jxj8
  Replies (7) Good night (2904) Bad night (1072)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.

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  (337): I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/g5uf
  Replies (26) Good night (1161) Bad night (2753)
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  (619): View more from California

  I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"

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  (619): I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn" http://tfl.nu/h75w
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (627)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...

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  (719): A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating... http://tfl.nu/lvgu
  Replies (6) Good night (460) Bad night (776)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.

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  (503): You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure. http://tfl.nu/1pyv
  Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (403)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about

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  (860): Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about http://tfl.nu/vmss
  Replies (3) Good night (348) Bad night (563)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?

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  (313): Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs? http://tfl.nu/w5xb
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (323)

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