He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize