He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
