Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
