You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
