The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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