We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
