I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
