I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
third nipple confirmed
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
