Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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