D3 body, D1 cock
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
