walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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