there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
