Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
