fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
