I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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