saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
no you cant smoke seaweed
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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