Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
