I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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