STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
