i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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