did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
