i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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