my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
