You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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