i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
