no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize