I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize