How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
