hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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