i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
