Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
