Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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