You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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