So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
