There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
