Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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