I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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