Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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