are you still at the devil's house?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
